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“I will join the 99%. I will make America Profitable. And I will Redistribute the Wealth.”
—MITT ROMNEY
I’m Mitt Romney and I’d like to tell you about my 3-step economic recovery plan. My plan is based on free-market economics. It’s based on my experience as a Business Leader. And it’s based on the Constitution of the United States. That’s why I call my plan WE THE PEOPLE INC.
As you know, the Constitution, our Founding Fathers’ Mission Statement, begins with the words “We the People.” And the Highest Court in the Land recently and unequivocally confirmed that corporations are people.
Get it? We the people are people. Corporations are people. It’s obvious: the Founding Fathers intended our government to be a corporation operated on sound business principles.
So when I am elected President and CEO of the United States, my first act will be to incorporate the government. And with the IPO of shares in WE THE PEOPLE INC. my economic recovery plan can begin:
ONE: I will join the 99%
...and purchase a controlling interest in WE THE PEOPLE INC.
No, not the same 99% that those lazy do-nothing Occupy Wall Streeters talk about. I’m talking about the 99% of my rich friends who, already, legitimately, occupy Wall Street.
And before you start whining about my rich friends, let me just remind you that in America you are free to choose your friends.
If some people prefer drinking cheap beer in an Irish Pub and go to the beach for the afternoon rather than join my friends and me in a glass of Moet on the beach in St. Barts, well, that’s their choice.
TWO: I will make America Profitable
I intend to run this country as a business, a profitable business. That’s what I have done before in the private sector and that’s what I will do, as President and CEO of WE THE PEOPLE INC.
Profit is the difference between income and expenses. And WE THE PEOPLE INC.’s income is primarily from taxes and I will not raise taxes one cent.
On the other hand, America’s expenditures are largely the cost of labor, the cost of the bloated Federal Bureaucracy. And I will reduce the cost of labor. Yes, some will be sacrificed for the good of the people of WE THE PEOPLE INC. I will fire thousands who are not providing the services they are being paid for.
And last, when I have made America profitable:
THREE: I will redistribute the wealth
...among the people, the people of WE THE PEOPLE INC. I will declare a dividend and distribute it among our shareholders, the 99% of my rich friends who own 99% of WE THE PEOPLE INC.*
*And then, in my second-term, I will put the business up for sale, pocket the money and move on to greater challenges.
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MAX SINGER
176 EAST 81ST STREET NO. 2D
NEW YORK CITY NEW YORK 10028
1.212.288.2239
MAX@MAXSINGER.COM
ABOUT MAX SINGER
"Corporations are people, my friend… of course they are. Everything corporations earn ultimately goes to the people. Where do you think it goes? Whose pockets? Whose pockets? People's pockets. Human beings, my friend."
—Mitt Romney to a heckler at the Iowa State Fair who suggested that taxes should be raised on corporations as part of balancing the budget (August 2011)
"I like being able to fire people who provide services to me."
–Mitt Romney, using an unfortunate choice of words while advocating for consumer choice in health insurance plans (January 2012)
"I'll tell you what, ten-thousand bucks? $10,000 bet?"
–Mitt Romney, attempting to make a wager with Rick Perry during a Republican presidential debate to settle a disagreement about health care (December 2011)
"I should tell my story. I'm also unemployed." —Mitt Romney, speaking in 2011 to unemployed people in Florida. Romney's net worth is over $200 million.
"PETA is not happy that my dog likes fresh air."
—Mitt Romney in 2007, responding to criticism from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals following revelations that he had once put the family dog in a carrier and strapped it to the roof of his car during a 12-hour road trip
"There were a couple of times I wondered whether I was going to get a pink slip"
–Mitt Romney, attempting to identify with the problems of average folk (January 2012)
"I'm running for office for Pete's sake, we can't have illegals"
–Mitt Romney, recalling his reaction when he learned that there were illegal aliens working the ground on his property, employed by a firm that he subsequently fired (October 2011)
"I'm not a big-game hunter. I've made that very clear. I've always been a rodent and rabbit hunter. Small varmints, if you will." –Mitt Romney, clarifying things a few days later after his hunting credentials were questioned (April 2007)
"[Obama's stimulus program is] one of the biggest peacetime spending binges in American history."
—Mitt Romney in April 2011, while U.S. troops were fighting wars in Afghanistan and Iraq and involved in airstrikes against Libya
"I'm Mitt Romney—and yes Wolf, that's also my first name."
—Mitt Romney, getting his own name wrong (his first name is "Willard," and his middle name is "Mitt")
Top 10 Dumbest Mitt Romney Quotes of All Time By Daniel Kurtzman,
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about max singer
Max Singer is an award-winning communications designer and artist who has done work for such clients as AT&T, The City College of New York, Friends of The World Food Program, Book-of-the-Month Club, Helen Keller International, The Juilliard School, Life Magazine, Jazz at Lincoln Center, Pfizer, The Soros Foundation, and Worth Magazine. Max is also an award-winning cartoonist, illustrator, photographer, and artist whose work has appeared in numerous national publications including Artnews, the NYTimes and NY Magazine. Max was associated with the world-famous Push Pin Studio. His political cartoons were featured in New York Newsday as well as High Times. Along the way he created animated commentary for Hard Copy TV news program, wrote sketches for SNL and was a standup comic at the Improv, NY. Max survived the Bush years writing and producing the e-zine ScurrilousRag. As an artist, his unique, colorful and bold illustrative style of imagery has been exhibited widely both in his homebase of New York City, in particular at such music and club venues such as the Knitting Factory, as well as various outsider and contemporary venues in his spiritual home of New Orleans, and was featured in the documentary Blood Brothers: Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band. Max is a member of the New Orleans Photo Alliance and a pro bono consultant with the Taproot Foundation.BACK TO TOP
copyright max singer
2006-2012.
contact: max@maxsinger.com