The Regnum of
Mad Potus
George III-(II)¹
[from “The Rise and Fall of
the Usanian Empire,” VOL. 1, XXII ed.]

by Max Singer

For 100’s of years, the bane of every Third Millenium schoolboy’s existence has been the dreaded requirement of taking at least one year of that “quaint” [read: dead] language Ameringlish.

Years later, in their dotage, awakening to night sweats, they clearly remember the ordeal of reading Halberstam’s Commentaries in the original tongue and having to commit to memory a certain portion of it to declaim aloud ²

To leaven the torture most schoolboys choose to memorize one of the gorier episodes from that chronicle of those murderous times.

Particularly popular to recite is the bloody tale:

…which assassin, if the translations of the recently unclassified, often murky and contradictory historical records contain any truth, was in the employ of a nearly universal cabal of all those who bore a grudge against, envied or particularly loathed the young ruler.

And the list of prospective employers was considerable: Robber Barons, Rogue Elements Within The Ruling Class, Traitors Within The Potus’ Inner Circle, Bearded Despots, Disaffected Mercenaries, Ex-Business Partners Of The Potus’ Wealthy Father, Jealous Husbands and Irate Boyfriends.³

Most schoolboys, surviving the agony of that requisite year, eagerly move on to more relevant pursuits [read: manly interests–e.g. war, sports, speculation, crime].

Those, however, who are patently ill-equipped for either the Battleground, Playing Field or Commodity Floor, who seek refuge in Ameringlish 200, or, those, even more unfortunate, who actually find something interesting in those old tales, will read how Potus John’s murder shattered his follower’s dreams of establishing an Arthurocracy, a form of government by a roundtable composed of the Republic’s Best And Brightest, scholar/warriors who called themselves “The League of the Knights of Ivy.”

And only a rare few (misfits, of a truly extreme Scholastic or Monastic bent) will go on to Ameringlish 300 and read of the Bleak Interregnum of Potus John’s successor, Lyndon the Usurper; of the Chaos and Civil Strife that followed; of the Murders of Prince Robert the Ruthless and Martin the Dreamer; of Lyndon’s abdication; of the ignominious defeat of Hubert the Humpfree at the hands of the devious Richard the Lyingheart; and of how that Dark Potus’ excesses finally awakened the Sleeping Senate, which, thus having regained it’s will and purpose, forced his abdication, exile and spearheaded a return to Sanity and The Republic.

And there, since in recorded memory, no schoolboy has ever admitted going on to Ameringlish 400, The Story as well as Their Education ends.

It is a tidy tale, full of the stuff of schoolboy fantasies, whose sole flaw, as only a fool or historian would point out, is that it is not true. . .

…neither was the Republic restored nor the Proud Senate revitalized, but the latter, having spent itself in a Paroxysm of Piety, lapsed into a Senescent Irrelevance, sputtering on through a string of Potuses both greater and lesser (greater in power and lesser in stature)– their names tell the tale: Gerald the Dull, James the Lustful, Reagan the Gypper, George II-(I) the Purger, William the Fat⁴–until at last it was delivered of a painless Coup de Grace and the Empire established by that unlikeliest Potus of them all, Mad Potus George III-(II).⁵

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1. A brief note explaining the system of nomenclature and numbering used in this text is in order: take for example the case of Mad Potus George III-(II), there, the numeral III refers to his technical sequence in the line of Usanian Potuses, while the parenthetical (II) refers to that Potus’ preference, or affectation as it were, of excluding from the official lineage the Founder, George the Truthful, whom George III-(II) asserted was not actually a Potus but a Pater, thus, establishing his pater, Potus Pater George II-(I) as the first Potus George.

2. As well as hearing in their nightmares the ringing of those stilted stentorian declensions:

4. Depending on which Political faction’s version of Usanian history you are reading this same line of Potuses are variously named: Gerald the Pardoner (or Dull), James the Farmer (or Lustful), Ronald the Orator (or Reagan the Gypper), George the Spook (or Purger), and William the Empath (or Fat).

5. Presiding as he did over the deed which most consider the formal establishment of the Empire, The Act of Absorption, in which the Mother Country was officially made part of the Ameringlish Polity and the Blair established as the First Satrap, replacing the then existing but moribund Monarchy.

His most distinguishing characteristic was the possession, in a rather extreme form, of an inherited family trait, the Affectation of Country Simplicity–a chameleon-like protective mechanism common amongst the Higher Classes, whereby (or so they believe) they may blend into the background, rendering themselves, as well as the extent of their power and privilege, invisible, safe from the easily aroused and much feared resentments of the Perpetual Underclass.

The delicate mental balancing act between Reality and Appearance required to maintain such a stance (the source of many of the neurasthenic eccentricities endemic amongst members of that class) became somewhat more problematic–pathological, dare we suggest?–for the future Potus, when his father moved the family West, to one of the rapidly growing Frontier Provinces.

There, while ostensibly seeking his own fortune amongst the “Rough And Ready Wildcatters,” he served in the capacity of a “Mole,” looking out for the interests of the “Eastern Establishment” who felt their grip on power somewhat threatened by the Nouveau Riche Of The Prairie.

It was from that point on that the energy expended by the future Potus Mad George III-(II) to maintain that Affected Country Simplicity began to drain his mental resources.

Having to divide his time, as well as his formative experiences, between the Cosseted Isolation of the Eastern Lyceums (where he and the other offspring of the elite were prepped for power) and the rather more Primitive New Provinces (whose Yahooism modeled for the norm rather than the exception), Young George III-(II) went from being simple to being a simpleton, from a rustic to a rube – at times prone to outbursts of out-and-out silliness, at other moments to demonstrations of sheer idiocy.

Thus, pushed to take the first steps towards the Madness that was later to engulf him, he spent most of his youth and early manhood adrift on a “Gentleman’s Sea.”

He survived, nay prospered, upon the Favors, Sops, Points, Percentages, Payoffs, Bribes and other Such Quantifiable Signs Of Appreciation that are invariably attendant upon the ne’er-do-well offspring of “Important Personages”–the glow of the Promise of Reciprocity attracting a variety of Entrepreneurs, Lobbyists, Hangers-on, Conmen, Swindlers and the various other pests that habitually infect the body politic.

The chits for some of his more dubious business ventures were readily assumed by “Certain Parties” (a connection that one day would come to haunt him) and he was handed a share in the Games where he was regularly seen in attendance as Public Greeter And Interlocutor.

It was in that role that those “Certain Parties” began to see an inkling of the possibilities inherent in His Glad-handing Anomie, and, though such shallow talents may have been scoffed at as a flimsy foundation upon which to build a Public Career, let alone a Dynasty, one need only be reminded of the central role the Circuses had played in the rise of earlier Empires.

Even so, given Young George III-(II)’s rather Laissez-faire attitude towards his Public Persona and his seeming lack of ambition in that realm, any Contemporary Observer, without the benefit of hindsight, might have felt quite justified in the opinion that George was not destined to leave in his swath any of those “Lasting Impressions Upon History” (fruitful or deleterious) that others born to similar privelege, but also possessed of drive and gravitas, might.

But then his life changed drastically.

The “Defining Event” occurred:

Like Constantine on the Road to Damascus, he had a Religious Epiphany, a Rebirth–which, his opponents were wont to say, if genuine, was ample proof of the Absence of a Prime Mover rather than the Presence.

But whether his experience was

• genuine
• an early symptom of his madness
• a cynically devised strategem,

or merely, as was rumored…

• the result of having the law laid down to him by his Consort, the Lady Laura, and his Mother, the Formidable Flotus, Mater Barbara the Enforcer (anent his dissolution and profligacy)

his change in behavior was apparent to all.

He became a Staunch Advocate as well as Practitioner of all the “Usual Public Declarations Of Piety”–the Loud Ones (Alleluias, Amens, “Praise-be’s”), the Quiet Ones (The Barely Audible Crumbling Of A Crisp Banknote Or Check As The Collection Plate Approaches), as well as the Somewhat More Emphatic Ones (Biblethumping, Competitive Sobriety, Early Risings and Ejaculations of Sighs of Compassion for the Less Fortunate)–which sublime expressions, of course, are always a sign of “He Who is Graced By The Almighty.”

The net result being a steady increase in his attractiveness [read: usefulness] to the Rectus Religiosos, as well as those “Certain Parties,” both of whom were seeking a prospective Champion to represent them in the upcoming Contest of Sucession Ritual.

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1. Some historians who specialize in his early years point to references in the texts to his being an “Animal of the Party” as an allusion to latent factionalism. Such readings remain in disrepute as there exist precious other evidence of such early inclinations.

William’s Champion had been chosen in the usual manner: the mantle having fallen to his Second–a reward for the years of Faux Obsequiousness required in that much maligned position.

That “Second” was a individual named Alinghore, a member of a noble Senatorial family, a thoughtful Scholastic, and, being the Second of a popular incumbent in a prosperous period, by all accounts deemed virtually certain of victory–a largely symbolic victory, it may be added, for, whichever Champion would emerge victorious the effect on the Polity would essentially be the same.

Because of the process of Rapprochement via Congruence begun almost a century and a half earlier and come near to it’s endpoint in the Regnum of William the Fat, the two major factions, or Packs, had become so similar, in speech as well as practice, that they were virtually indistinguishable from one another.

Now, The Story Of The Rise Of Empires–the Usanian included–is the story of the struggle for supremacy between these power-hungry groups, the Packs, whose members are known as Packmen, (which in the vernacular has become synonymous with a “gluttonous personage”, i.e. a voracious gobbler).

At first there exist a large number of small Packs, which, through the historical process we have come to know as “Acquisition and Downsizing,” metamorphosize into a smaller number of large Packs.

Finally, only two remain to vie for the Ultimate Powers, the right to name the Chief Imperial Officer (CIO)–then still known as The Potus–and to have the Empire named after them as in the Packs Romana and the Packs Britannica.

Earlier in the history of the Usanian Empire, a century and a half before the Regnum of William the Fat that moment had come.

Two powerful Packs, aligned across a North-South geographical axis, had been embroiled in a heated labor dispute:

• on one side stood the Packs Sud, wearing the grey uniforms, representing the Feudal Agricolae (cotton, sugar and tobacco) and favoring the Direct Ownership of Labor.
• on the other side, the Packs Nord, wearing the blue uniforms, representing the Estates Manufacture (coal, iron, weaving and chandlery) and favoring a relatively new innovation, a Semi-Permanent Form Of Indentured Servitude known as the J.O.B.¹

This long-simmering disagreement came to a head and was settled in the time-honored fashion: the two sides politely agreed to a Civil War fought by armed mercenaries and forced conscripts, who would engage in a hideous slaughter until one or both sides, in this case the Packs Sud, lay in ruin.

After the end of the conflict, during the period of profit-taking known as National Reconstruction, the victorious Packs Nord, for some unknown reason, or fortuitous lapse of judgement, created a commission to study the cost of the war to the nation.

This commission, known as “The Commission To Study The Cost Of The War To The Nation,” engaged in a deeply introspective Analysis of Profit and Loss, and in it’s report, entitled “Report of the Commission to Study the Cost of the War to the Nation,” concluded that, while National Reconstruction had proved profitable, the long-term outlook was somewhat less clear, inasmuch as The Cyclical Destruction Of Infrastructure involved in preparing the ground for such ventures would, of necessity, produce a geometrically decreasing rate of return.

In other words, the Report said, in the future, such Enterprises would be more profitably be carried out on Foreign Soil, as a Joint Venture, amortized as an expense under “Cost of Doing Business,” and, with an eye to public perceptions, renamed the more tongue-friendly Nation Building.

And, in a rare instance in the history of the Empire, the Commission’s advice was heeded.

To cement their new understanding, the two Packs called in the “Crunchiers de Legumes,” their numerologists, who counted all their Blessings and, when the sums were totaled, the two Packs, former adversaries, now business partners, gave thanks, agreed to put their differences aside and, in the future, split the booty.⁽²⁾

Since that Pact, the transition to Empire had proceeded apace, so smoothly that it went almost unnoticed by the bulk of the Citizenry.

Many innovations had taken place including:

• the introduction of the Official Scepter, “Le Grand Baton” (or Big Stick) by the Potus Theodorus the Softspeaker
• an innovative form of alliance known as the Merger and
• a quasi-Military siege called the “Hostile Takeover.”

But no innovation was perhaps more significant than the introduction of the Verbal Hors d’Combat which replaced the archaic Kissing and Pressing Ceremony as the main event in the Contest of Succession.

This innovation attenuated and emphasized minute differences between the Champions of the two Packs, satisfying the Blood Lust of the Citizenry while obfuscating their behind the scenes machinations and allowing them to focus their energies on the main profit center, the opportunities abroad for Nation Building.

And, for almost a century and a half, it was a matter of faith that this Union of Convenience would go on unimpeded.

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1. The Packs Nord were identified as the Jay O’Bees, an allusion to the institution of labor they favored, and The Packs Sud as the Ess O’Bees, which roughly meant the same thing then as it does now.

2. For centuries thereafter, the Usanians, to commemorate the agreement, slaughtered a large, tasteless, flightless bird, which was torn asunder and eaten, after which, the males sequestered themselves to watch a series of reenactments of the original conflict.

This seemingly irrational and destructive antipathy was centered specifically on the person of Potus William the Fat, known to The Purgers variously as: William the Liar, William the Dissolute or, simply, William the Antichrist.

Whilst the origins of the names of the two factions are lost in Antiquity, historians have their pet theories.

In the case of The Purgers, some cite evidence in the literature suggesting that the name derived originally from a certain gastro-intestinal ceremony performed in private utilizing a ritual porcelain bowl known as The Throne. The facts that this rite was associated with the secretive Scüllenboens, of which both Georges, Pere et Fils, were members, and, that George Pere was known to have performed a public version of the same upon the person of a High Foreign Dignitary, are given as evidence to back up this theory explaining the etymology of The Purgers’ name.

However, it is more likely that the name was simply an allusion to the inquisitorial proclivities of that faction, which, after all, was composed primarily of True Believers, Snakecharmers, Glossalialists, Armaggedonites, Know-Nothings, Anti-Communards and Witchburners.

Likewise, one school of thought has it that The Burgers is a sarcastic reference to a certain Savory Meat Patty, a viand particularly favored by Potus William the Fat and considered by The Purgers as evidence of the dissolute character of Potus William and his faction, which they, The Purgers, considered largely composed of Heretics, Sodomites, Opium Eaters, Freebooters, Hebrews and Blackamoors.

Most likely it was simply a description of the largely urban character of that Pack.

Whatever the origins of their names, The Purgers’ rankling desire for vengeance against The Burgers for:

• The perceived humiliation of St. Richard the Martyr [see: Richard the Lyingheart]
• Their blasphemies against Ronald the Orator [see: Reagan the Gypper]
• The defeat of Potus George II-(I) by the upstart William the Fat.
• Their morally outrageous Affair Of The Besotted Dress, involving Potus William and a minor member of the Palace staff, a certain Lady Monica.

…was channeled into a series of plots and cabals and finally came to a head in a formal inquisition in the Starr Chamber.

Ultimately, however, all such efforts by disaffected followers of the former Purger Potuses at dethroning the popular William the Fat failed and they were forced to redirect their vituperative energies towards ensuring a more desirable outcome in the upcoming Contest of Succession.

There was, however, a considerable obstacle The Purgers would face achieving that goal: Mad George III-(II) had to defeat the Champion of The Burgers in the Verbal Hors d’Combat

Therefore, in almost all cases, the results of the Hors d’Combat were pro forma: the flip of a coin would have sufficed as well as any other means of scoring.

There was however one instance in which the Combat could be the determining factor: when one party had a particularly well-aimed and deadly attack called the Knockout Punch which could effectively end the Combat. This Knockout Punch was a much sought after but seldom achieved goal.⁽¹⁾

In this upcoming Hors d’Combat, between Mad George and Alinghore, the Touts and Oddsmakers were laying it down that Alinghore could, even that he would, deliver such a fatal blow: he being a skilled Wordsman and his opponent a Wordsmangle.

Yet, as it often comes to pass, the speculators were wrong.

In the manner of the contest between the Mediocrity, who, in the end, outshines his expectations by a hair, and the Prodigy, who fails to meet his by the same degree, Mad George III-(II)–who had managed not to appear totally at sea–was generally conceded the victory by mere dint of not having lost…

• …perhaps his Affected Country Simplicity was a perfect foil to Alinghore’s ponderous and pedantic style of attack
• …perhaps, as The Purger adherents claimed, Alinghore’s otherwise well-aimed thrusts were dulled by the future Potus’ “coolness under fire,” or…
• …perhaps, as The Burgers claimed, Mad George was simply “too stupid to know he had been hurt”…

…in any case, on the Eve of Election, despite the buoying effect of his performance in the Hors d’Combat (not to mention the Formidable War Chest extorted from the Merchants of the Bazaar by The Purgers) the Seers and Prognosticators who gathered to augur the Pols d’Exit, decreed that Mad George had not managed to overcome Alinghore’s considerable advantages, and George and The Purgers seemed doomed to sink slowly into History’s Quicksand with all the other Also-rans.

What saved the day for George III-(II) and The Purgers was the Curse that struck the Official Necromancers of the Sleepy Southern Province governed, “as it so happened” by Jebadiah the Miscegenist, the brother of Mad George.

Befuddled by a mysterious Malodorous Effluvium, unable to read The Leanings of the Hanging Chads–a reference, some historians argue, to a sacrificial rite in which the corpses of executed felons were examined for the purpose of prognostication–they thus could not sanctify the Succession.

And while Scholars, Sages and Professional Pedants debated and pored over the Ancient Texts, searching for some agreeable formula that would disperse the dark clouds gathering over the future of the Empire, the province filled with “Mercenaries Loyal To Nothing And No One But Their Own Appetites; Vultures And Jackals Ready To Pick Bare The Bones Of Carcasses; and To Gorge Upon The Offal Left By Others.”

A reference, of course, to none other than those despised and often mocked Advocates before the Bar.

These “Statute-Mongers,” as they were known, filled the Public Courts with an seemingly unending Mountain of Contentions, Interpretations, Polemics, Statements, Arguments, Affidavits and Evidence, the sheer amount of which rendered the public increasingly dumbfounded, bewildered and appalled.

It was then that The Purgers, who, throughout this ordeal, had not been idle, struck the Coup de Grace.

Operating behind the scenes through a shadow network, they conspired to arrange for the ritual known as The Interposition of the Nine–a group of seldom seen, quasi-religious robed figures also called “The Justices,” who held the Power of Ultimate Inquiry.

There, a lone Justice indebted to the Potus Pater George II-(I) the Purger, sealed the fate of Alinghore–a Justice about whom little is known; of whose writings, if any, none remain; whose name alone has been passed down to us (in whispers)...

…Clarence the Tomist.

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1. In fact it was delivered only once in the Combat’s history, in the first recorded Hors d’Combat between Potus John the Swordsman and Richard the Lyingheart.

 

During the period of transition from the Regnum of William the Fat to George III-(II), it was said that the Capitol was awash with thrice the usual number of “Itinerant Girdlers, Wigmakers, Plastic Surgeons, Cosmeticians, Tonsorial Artists, Purveyors of Sexual Stimulants, Elevator Shoes and the other Normal Accoutrements of Imperial Power” plying their wares to Officials called back, after decades, in some cases, of ignominious anonymity, to serve the Young Potus Mad George III-(II) as Ministers of State.

Indeed, it must have felt like a veritable Transfusion of Second Youth to those graying and paunchy former officials of Purger Potuses–Pater George II-(I), Ronald the Orator, Gerald the Pardoner–whose number even included the Machiavellian Hessianger who managed to escape the service of Richard the Lyingheart with his head and reputation more or less intact.

The most notorious of these Ministers included:

Thus Resurrected, Revitalized and having Retaken the Potushood from the Grasp of the Immoral Burgers, The Purgers–after ridding the Young Potus of any delusions of independent action he might harbor–stood prepared to wreak the greatest degree of vengeance upon the followers of William the Fat and to savor the Fruits of Victory and the Delights of Power.

First and foremost among these Fruits and Delights?

That item on the agenda of every new Potus that is crucial to, indeed the very Raison d’Être of, their Regnum: the fulfillment of the Largesse Noblige, the Contractual Distribution of Booty that “Was And Always Will Be The Grease That Lubricates The Bowels Of The Body Politic, Enabling It To Egest All Those Rough Indigestable And Distasteful Morsels That Are Captured, Willy-Nilly, In It’s Voracious Maw As It Devours Its’ Way Into The Future.”

And here, at the very outset of their Regnum, The Purgers demonstrated the degree to which, in the pursuit of their own goals, they were, willing to break with the Rapprochement via Congruence, that nearly 150 year-old understanding between the Packs that had enabled the nascent empire to grow peacefully, inexorably, and discreetly:

They proposed fulfilling the duty imposed by the Largesse Noblige, not merely by awarding their cronies the usual benefits of such patronage, the Allotting Of Sinecures, Contracts, Rewards, Favors, Posts, Ambassadorships, Titles And Other Handouts That Bring To The Recipient Some Pecuniary Or Social Advantage, but by dispersing, directly to them, Huge Quantities Of Gold from the Treasury.

As the Second Millenium approached, it appeared that The Purgers might possibly be able to pull off the unprecedented Reverse Distribution of Wealth they proposed with nary a bleat from the sheep they were preparing to fleece.

This was due to the fact that, during the Regnum of William the Fat, the Potustate was awash in such vast quantities of Lucre, Moolah, Dough, Pesos, Shekels and Other Currencies of the period that, it was said, even the Tax Collectors could walk abroad without fear.

This vast influx of wealth was due in large part to speculations in the activities of a mysterious group known as the d’Hote Commes whose invisible cells formed a spidery network appropriately spoken of as The Web.

These d’Hote Commes, who, seemingly, sprang out of nowhere to spread their tentacles throughout the Potustate, communicated amongst themselves in a secret Hand Code–The Ineffable H-T-M-L–known only to a small group of Alchemists and Scholastics in their employ, the Ghiecks and Knierds.

The New Urldoms, which composed virtually the entire Real Estate of this web, were so highly touted by certain of the realm’s most influential Seers and Astrologers that an investment mania spread throughout the land.

Soon, even the poorest peasant felt secure in mortgaging his future to the moneylenders, certain that the return on his investment would release him from the yoke of that “Semi-Permanent Form Of Indentured Servitude,” the J.O.B., that now was the lot of most citizens.

However, before the Purgers could carry out their plan, even before the formal Accession of Mad Potus George III-(II), the situation had drastically changed.

Presaging a collapse of the entire network, the sudden downfall of a number of these d’Hote Commes, coupled with revelations that many of those self-same Seers and Astrologers were paid henchmen of the now discredited Urldoms, lead to a darkening mood, the onset of a downward spiral of economic failure and the shrinking of the Treasury’s Store of Gold.

The Purgers, in their reaction to this changing state of affairs, showed a sense of determination and will that is still an object lesson in either courage or mulish greed.

They did not waiver from their plans one iota, except, as a sop to the Court of Appearances, to incorporate them into a ceremony last invoked in the Regnum of Reagan the Gypper, a Prosperity Ritual called Vieux Dieu [“view from the top”–lit: the perspective or “view” of a god] believed to have magical powers to stimulate and increase the supply of money.

In this ceremony, the Potus stands at the apex of the pyramid-shaped Temple to Mammon depicted on the obverse of the paper money of that period.

There, he distributes Huge Quantities of Gold to those nearest to him, but lower on the pyramid, who, according to the Canon, would then distribute a portion of it to those nearest to them, on the next lowest level, and so-forth-and-so-on, until, eventually, or so they professed, some of it would “trickle down” to the Beggars, Lepers, Destitute, Homeless, Helpless and Hopeless who crowded the Lower Depths of the Temple.⁽¹⁾

This plan, however, was not greeted with universal acclaim.

And, feeding off the murmurs of discontent that began to spread throughout the Potustate, The Burgers–defeated but eager to return The Purgers’ perfidy kind for kind–smelled blood and were poised to strike back.

But, once again, The Purgers were saved by Tragedy.

Gathered from among the Heathen Hordes who roamed the fringes of the Empire, a band of fanatical Thugees and H’ashasheens infiltrated the Island Fortress of New Orc, the Center of Trade of the Empire, and managed to destroy those miraculous wonders of the ancient world, the Twin Towers, the symbolic home of the already decimated d’Hote Commes.

Thousands died.

Smoke from the smoldering embers filled the air and darkened the sky.

The People were filled with fear and anger.

Pulpits echoed with Consolatory Oratory.

Pennants, Flags, Insignia and Other Symbols of Fealty were displayed throughout the Potustate.

The Empire mourned.

Mayors, Aldermen, Ward Healers, Solons, City Fathers, Bureaucrats, Magistrates, Mandarins, and Potential Candidates joined in the Expiatory Rites.⁽²⁾

Then, the proper ablutions having been performed, Mad Potus George III-(II) seeking to Execute a Terrible Retribution and to assuage the People’s Bloodlust, ordered Spymaster Jan Washclothe to dispatch his minions to scour the Potustate and round up all potential Traitors and Villains, and Marechal Dom de la Rumpsfiel to send his armies to ravage the land of those sheltering the villains’ Cohorts and Supporters.

And, although they did succeed in filling the dungeons with a seemingly Endless Supply of Suspicious Characters, this did little to quell the people’s growing anxieties.

Nor did de la Rumpfiel’s failure to bring to heel the villains’ ringleader, a certain Ladenbin.

Mad Potus George III-(II), then, faced as well with

• an empty Treasury
• a devastated Caravan and Caravansary Trade
• Homegrown Madmen spreading the Plague
• an increasingly Demoralized Polity

…did what leaders of Empires have always done in such circumstances.

He started a war.

Or, more precisely, restarted what became known later as the Thousand Year War.

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1. While such a ritual may seem patently absurd to us, it reortedly had a salutary effect on those closest to the Potus, while those at the Lower Depths were, at least, heard to give thanks that the ritual didn’t make their situation worse.

2. Particularly the Potusop, in which a restorative power was believed to be subliminally drawn by having one’s image captured alongside that of the Potus.