In a bold initiative to control the springtime floods that plague the towns and cities along the banks of the Mississippi River, the Salvation Army Corps of Engineers has trained a cadre of specialists in the technology of turning a serpent into a staff.
¶ With the help of God, Charlton Heston, a consultant with the project said, The technology can be useful in turning back rushing bodies of water.
¶ His optimism, Heston went on, was based on evidence of successful experiments dating back as far as 1300 BC as reported in The Journal of Manna Science.
¶ The Corps will demonstrate the new technology this Fall in St. Louis, Missouri, where the Cadre will use their staffs to protect the world-famous riverfront arch from a roaring 150-ft. tall Tsunami specially created for the occasion.
ABOVE: Heston at recent Salvation Army Corps of Engineers graduation ceremony.
© Max Singer 2003
Contact: A Scurrilous Rag