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| VOL. I NO. 2 | THE FAITH-BASED ISSUE | SEPTEMBER 15, 2003 |
Salvation
Army Engineers
to Part
Mississippi River
In a bold initiative to control the springtime floods that plague the towns and cities along the banks of the Mississippi River, the Salvation Army Corps of Engineers has trained a cadre of specialists in the technology of turning a serpent into a staff.
¶ “With the help of God,” Charlton Heston, a consultant with the project said, “The technology can be useful in turning back rushing bodies of water.”
¶ His optimism, Heston went on, was based on evidence of successful experiments dating back as far as 1300 BC as reported in “The Journal of Manna Science.”
¶ The Corps will demonstrate the new technology this Fall in St. Louis, Missouri, where the Cadre will use their staffs to protect the world-famous riverfront arch from a roaring 150-ft. tall Tsunami specially created for the occasion.
ABOVE: Heston at recent Salvation Army Corps of Engineers graduation ceremony.
© Max Singer 2003
Contact: A Scurrilous Rag
