Jerry and Jesus,
live in a small town in Montana with one church and a 7-11.
have become convinced that my next door neighbor, a young widow, is having
sex with the devil.
I believe this to be true because every night when I look out my bedroom
window at her with my binoculars I can clearly see her engaged in lustful
copulation with a large horned creature and shouting Take me, Master
of Darkness! Take me, Master of Darkness!
agonizing over this for months, and, as the widow is a member of our congregation,
I finally went to see my minister and told him what I had seen.
minister began stuttering uncontrollably and turned a deep beet red and
then told me not to say anything to anyone, that he would look into the
6 weeks have passed and every time I see the minister on the street he seems
to avoid me.
Also, although I can still hear the screaming Take me, Master of Darkness!
Take me, Master of Darkness, the shades appear to have been drawn.
Have I perhaps stumbled onto a Satanic Conspiracy that involves not only
my neighbor, my minister but the entire community.
I am now worried for my life. I had barricaded myself into my house but
now have scarcely enough food, water or ammunition to last until an exorcist
can arrive. I am beginning to think that I should either take my own life
rather than allow myself to fall into the hands of Satan or else destroy
the entire town with the cases of dynamite I have been hoarding for such
Surrounded by Evil
I spoke with Jesus about your predicament and this is what he told me:
It is important for you to remain calm and serene in the knowledge
that I am watching over you and you shall have everlasting life unless
the horned demon you can see through your binoculars resembles this picture
(see left) in which case you are in deep shit because you are dealing
with the Archdemon Marilyn Manson.
Manson (born Brian Warner) discovered 16 mm porno films, pornographic
magazines, even bestiality photos, sexual toys in his grandfathers
„Hell to me was my grandfathers cellar. (First line in his
„Although I was disgusted and creeped out, my curiosity about my grandfather
and his depravity still hadnt been satisfied.
attended Christian school in Canton, Ohio for several years until two
months into his Sophomore year when he quit to attend a public school
after becoming rebellious toward Christianity telling his parents, "Everything
I like, theyre against.
attending Christian school, Manson was given numerous opportunities to
accept Christ during school assemblies, but never did.
When (the assembly speakers) were done, everyone would bow their
heads in prayer. If anyone wasnt born again, the failed pastor leading
the seminar would ask them to come on stage and hold hands and be saved.
Every time I knew I should have walked up there, but I was too petrified
to stand on stage in front of the entire school and too embarrassed to
admit that I was morally, spiritually and religiously behind everybody
I began to resent Christian school and doubt everything I was told...The
seeds of who I am now had been planted.
switched to public school for his last three years.
Christian school had prepared me well for public school. It defined
the taboos, then held them away at arms length, leaving me reaching
for them in vain. As soon as I switched schools, it was all there for
the taking -- sex, drugs, rock, the occult. I didnt even have to
look for them: They found me.
says he became entrenched in rock and roll, especially hard rocker heavy
metal groups like Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Kiss, Judas Priest, Iron
Maiden, Motley Crue and Rush.
writes that his father took him to see his first rock concert -- a KISS
concert -- in 1979.
The fantasy element of much of this (rock) music soon drew me to
Dungeons & Dragons.
of my education took place after class, when I escaped into a fantasy
world -- immersed in role-playing games.
Manson was ordained as a Reverend in the Church of Satan, by its founder
The day I became a Satanist also happened to be the day the allied
forces of Christianity and conservativism (sic) began mobilizing against
It makes a lot more sense to follow The Satanic Bible, written with
twentieth-century humanity in mind, than a book that was written as a
companion to a culture long since defunct.
© Max Singer 2003
Contact: A Scurrilous Rag